Jannaire Faulkner

I happen to like writing about clothes just as much as wearing them.

14 Things You Should NEVER Say To An Aspiring Writer.

Disclaimer: This post features a lot of sarcasm, a touch of anger (totally justified), and some of the best GIF’s you’ll ever lay your pretty eyes on. I have genuinely experienced every single point mentioned, here’s hoping I’m not alone.

1. ‘If you want to be a successful writer, just write’

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Of course, thank you for opening my eyes.

2. ‘So what else do you do?’

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This.

3. ‘If you’re a writer, why don’t you like, write a book or something?!’

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You know, I might do just that.

4. ‘I’m surprised books are still around, what with Netflix being so popular and all.’

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 Because obviously there’ll be a time when we have to choose between Orange is The New Black and Clockwork Orange..

5. ‘I suppose it’s simply just putting pen to paper really isn’t it?’

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Yup, you got it in one.

6. ‘You’ve spelt that wrong.’

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Thank you for acknowledging my momentary act of pure idiocy.

7. ‘So do you have a blog then? I love Tumblr!’

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Albeit a tad ironic these GIF’s were sourced from, you guessed it, Tumblr.

8. ‘Have you seen the new 50 Shades trailer? I just loved the book!’

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OK, I’m done.

9. ‘You look tired, why don’t you take a break?’

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A break from procrastination? Or the paragraph it took 3 hours to write?

10. ‘Yeah, this is actually quite good.’

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What we actually hear.

11. ‘God I hate writing, it’s just so boring, isn’t it?’

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Yes, yes it is.

12. ‘Surely you won’t be earning any money for a long time though?’

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This represents my response perfectly. Make-up et al.

13. ‘Just use your imagination.’

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Sure.

14. ‘I really hate those #number posts.’

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Well, if you’ve said any of the above, you’re probably not my favourite person, either.

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I do not own any of the graphics interchange formats included in this post.

Instagram the Optimist.

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Image from JAK & JIL.

I’m just going to go right ahead and say it.

Sometimes there’s such thing as one selfie too many, one overly-filtered photo of beautiful Prada sandals I’ll never be able to justify, or an ‘Outfit of The Day’ featuring an ensemble that matches the same financial values as a deposit for a house, yet is simply captioned ‘Chill day’. All of this is obviously topped with an array of emojis and hashtags – the internets cult labelling method – and although there are many times when I’ve laughed at some users genius hashtag inventions, sometimes it is just too much. I don’t want to stress narcissism as a factor in any way, but more so the portrayal of our lifestyles; the continuity of success and positivity we all supposedly hold. There is an ever growing pattern emerging; It’s saying ‘no negativity allowed.’

This makes me ask the question, is Instagram the true optimist of social media?

Might I add I am no saint when it comes to social media (who is?), there have been many occasions in which I have hastily posted anger-fuelled quotes, alcohol-fuelled photos and a *insertmundaneobjecthere* no-one’s really that interested in.  It’s ludicrous to think that now, a level of attractiveness or likeability is supposedly defined by how many likes you get on that selfie you took because why waste an abstract mirror opportunity, right? I remember when all that was needed to be liked in school (and lets face it, generally succeed in life) was blonde highlights, straighteners and too much mascara. Somehow I still managed to get all of the aforementioned so very wrong.

My point is, yes Instagram is one of the most enjoyable social media platforms, and in a way I suppose it’s advantageous we all follow these unspoken rules, but sometimes no amount of Valencia or Walden can make eating your weight in spag bowl and watching eight hours of Netflix look pretty.. and that’s okay, really.

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“I have nothing to wear.”

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Said every woman, ever.

You know the mornings where you really should’ve decided what to wear the night before?

Let me refresh your memory. You have approximately 8 minutes until you approach the half an hour late mark, the weather has changed countless times (as have you), your favourite jeans are in the wash and you just hate EVERYTHING and really think the best thing to do right now is to throw everything out and start again.

Now it’s taken me a long time to figure out a few ways to combat this ever growing dilemma, if I can be helped even slightly then lord knows anyone can.

1. Monochrome. Do I really need to say any more? As if I haven’t expressed my love of the almighty black and white enough already (see here), it is a sure fire way to dress efficiently, with a two tone colour palette making getting dressed an absolute delight. The key focus here is keeping it minimalistic, though texture is additionally important.

2. A staple dress. Now in spite of my previous statement, I’ve been told that colour is good, too. I personally tend to wear colour in the form of ditsy floral prints, which brings me to my point. If you own a dress that looks great with or without tights, can be layered or worn alone, AND fits you like a dream – firstly, please tell me where to buy one and secondly, look after it. Like really look after it, and make sure you always keep it available for said aforementioned situation.

3. Shop your wardrobe. That’s right, assign a day to clear out your entire wardrobe and not only will organising (I’ve found colour coding helps) save you a lot of time in the mornings, but you’ll no doubt discover old favourites as well as shoes you’d completely forgotten you own, which if you really think about it, is essentially acquiring free clothes. As for the items which aren’t so desirable, pop them on eBay. You’ll be making money whilst saving essential wardrobe space!

What are your tips for ‘Nothing to Wear’ days? Because some mornings, I need all the help I can get..

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Wearing White.

Calvin Klein

Image c/o Vogue.

So it’s currently Summer in England. I say currently because if you’re a typical Brit like myself, you’ll know that the second you even think about ditching those 60 deniers the grey clouds will assemble and the rain will come. Which means whilst everyone else innocently fills their wardrobes with pastels, brights, sunglasses and sandals regardless, I’ve been trying to pry my hands from all that is black and venture into something a little more season appropriate. So how did I handle said task in such a cooperative manner? White my friends, White.

White is however, a tricky one. Despite it being a perennial favourite, it isn’t the easiest to wear (i.e throw on in a rush when that ten extra minutes in bed escalates to just ten minutes to get ready) and if you’re anything like me you’ll have at least three miscellaneous (coffee, lipstick and *insertanyfoodhere*) stains on said ivory attire before lunchtime hits.

BUT let’s face it, it’s worth it. Below is proof, see:

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Chloé, Gucci, Saint Laurent.

My favourite ultimately has to be Calvin Klein (featured image), subtle androgyny paired with feminine texture? White on.

See more of my Monochrome musings here.

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Writing Clothes.

Since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to have something to do with clothes. It started when I was about nine, designing what I now recognise as evening gowns, though at the time inspiration drew heavily from every disney princess combined (they were elaborate to say the least, trust me.) Elie Saab, eat your heart out right?

Because back then it seemed the word ‘fashion’ only had one pure connotation: Design. And as soon as I realised that in fact girls didn’t always want feathers and glitter topped with a meringue hem line all in one dress (I was nine) I quite literally went back to the drawing board. Then there were the countless Friends episodes, one of which feature Rachel landing a job as an assistant fashion buyer, with the key line ‘I would be shopping, for a living’ always being engraved in my mind. This is what I’m going to do, I thought (along with every other 14 year old girl at said time).

So then fast forward a few awkward school years and i’m choosing Textiles as my GCSE option, big mistake. I couldn’t sew to save my life, and i’m still pretty sure to this day my teacher had it in for me. I have always loved English and Fashion, but back then never really knew how to combine them. I was the one that stayed silent when we were given an essay or report whilst everyone else moaned, because if I’m quite honest, I couldn’t think of much better. So I finally finished school and chose to study Fashion Design at college. Well, I didn’t, I changed my mind, thank god. I studied Fashion Promotion, then went on to my degree now in Fashion Communication & Marketing. I’m in my last year, hence the 6 week break from blogging. But I couldn’t keep away, and this was simply a draft waiting to be published. So there you are.

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Tartan? Check.

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Image from Zara.

Yes, the almighty tartan check. I’ve been a fan for years, but this year something’s different.

The high-street are doing it right. Oh so right. Don’t get me wrong, there will always be a case of a bad check (I’m looking at you Primark) but I’ve been wearing checks lately like they’re going out of style, and I like it.

I’ve gone from wistfully looking at a tartan scarf, wondering how I would style it to buying said scarf, a dress, skirt and everything else the beloved print bestows itself upon. Seriously, I have a problem.

What do you think about the quintessentially Scottish print?

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Talking Books.

Yes today I’m talking about physical publications, because let’s face it, time’s a tickin’ for all that is not digital. But in the last few weeks there have been two book releases in particular which have begged the question: So are books still going strong, then? (I honestly believe sometimes that I am the only one that doesn’t possess a Kindle, living in the past I know)

Let me explain, as soon as I clapped eyes on Alexa Chung’s release titled It, I knew I had to have, well, it, and yet I knew next to nothing about the novel. But the oh so pretty pink canvas cover and the thought of a model giving tips on getting dressed in the morning? I was sold along with nearly ever other young woman with even the slightest of interests in fashion. Also, I may have finished the book in a day, so do with that what you will.

Then, there’s my own personal obsession: Leandra Medine. Only the most witty and funny fashion writer to grace New York with her Man-Repelling outfits and musings. With the genius tag line ‘Seeking love, finding overalls’ Medine talks about her Man Repelling habits and how eventually these work in her favour. It all started with her blog named Man Repeller (Forever in my favourites bar) which stemmed from shopping with a close friend one day, and hopelessly moaning that she can’t hold down a relationship, then her friend simply replies with ‘Maybe it’s because of what you wear.’ Leandra talks about these items that women covet so much, but men seem to despise, as well as other controversial issues, whilst also being entertaining throughout. In short, the woman writes and dresses god damn well, definitely an icon in my books (pun so intended).

You can get both books super cheap from here!

What do you think of the latest releases?

Follow/Tweet me on Twitter – @jnnrflknr          Follow me on Bloglovin’ here!

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